well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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