I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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