I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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