I want to have your abortion
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
