did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
