this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
