I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
