His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
