She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
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