I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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