I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
