Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
