just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
