doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
