u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
