Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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