i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
