Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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