Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
