He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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