Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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