She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
