He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
