Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
