Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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