i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
