He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
