i think my tv is drunk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
