Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
