Duck Duck Cougar?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
