normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
