Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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