Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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