We need to start having sex underwater more often.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
