i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
