so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
