if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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