people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i love accidental penises.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
