peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize