Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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