Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
