I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
