i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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