Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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