All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
