Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you would pick up someone in the library
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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