After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
