i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
