We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
