So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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