That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
