did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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