real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
time to smoke my breakfast
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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