What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
