I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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