is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
