so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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