I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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