let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
