he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
